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TEXT: Romans 16:3-4
Our study this week brings us to one of its loveliest characters, Priscilla. She and her husband appear six times in the New Testament. And about them, we can say the following:
1.They were of Jewish descent and religion.
2.They grew up among the Dispersed Jews in Pontus, Asia Minor, on the south shore of the Black Sea.
3.Tentmaking was their business.
4.They plied their trade in Rome, till exiled (along with the other Jews) by Caesar Claudius.
5.They went from Rome to Corinth, where they hired Paul to assist them in their work.
6.Under his influence (it would seem) they were converted and soon became pillars in the church.
7.Among their outstanding works were:
a.Hosting the church in their house. This was expensive, inconvenient--and potentially dangerous. Christianity was an outlawed religion; and anyone who befriended the church was Caesar's enemy.
b.Helping Apollos to understand "the way of the Lord more perfectly". This they did with tact and good grace--things all too rare among most controversialists.
c.Helping Paul in his ministry--to the point of "risking their own necks".
8.For their integrity and zeal, this dear couple was held in high esteem "among all the churches on the Gentiles". It may have been Aquila and Priscilla that Paul had in mind when he wrote, "...and mark those who so walk, as you have (them) for an example." But whether he was specifically thinking of them or not, it is sure that they lived so as to command our respect and imitation.
But of the many good things worth saying about this devout couple, one stands out in particular: they were always thought of as a couple. Their names, for example, never appear separately. We never read of what Aquila was doing, without Priscilla at his side. Nor of Priscilla's ministry, without her husband being there. They were a Christian couple in the truest sense: not just "a couple of Christians", but "a Christian couple"; a husband and wife sharing a common vision, performing a common service, bowing to a common Lord.
This is more than a little surprising. Think, for example, that all of the Apostles, except Paul, were married. But who were their wives? What were their names? We don't know. The same is true of the other leading men in the early church: Mark, Luke, Apollos, Timothy, Titus, James, and Jude. Were these men all single? It would seem unlikely, yet their wives are never mentioned. The "households" of Cornelius and the Philippian jailer are referred to, but never the wife herself. Thus, it was unusual to single out a man's wife for special notice or praise. If he was honored, then she had her reward.
But it seems that the lives of Aquila and Priscilla were so intertwined that you could not speak of one without the other. And so it should be of every Christian couple. We are, after all, "heirs together of the grace of life". The creation mandate was given to Adam and Eve jointly. The Messianic promise came to Abraham and Sarah as a pair. The Spirit fell on God's "sons and daughters". And, although women and men are assigned different tasks in God's work, each should support the other. "And consider one another, to provoke unto love and good works".
What, then, did Priscilla do to support her husband?
1.She didn't add to his burden. Serving the Lord is hard under the best of circumstances. But a bad wife will make it next to impossible. Look what the Bible says she will do to him:
a.She will disrupt his fellowship with God. "Husbands, dwell with your wives according to knowledge...that your prayers be not hindered". This is like cutting the man's life-line and leaving him to suffocate spiritually..
b.She will consume his free-time and sap his energy. "A continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike; whoever restrains her restrains the wind and grasps oil in his hand".
c.She will bring despair. "Rottenness to the bones".
d.Under such conditions, a few men have grown in grace and served others with zeal. I think of Job who "kept his integrity" or David who said, "although my house be not so with God, yet He has made with me an everlasting covenant, ordered in all things and sure". But very few. And although "every man must bear his own burden"; so too must we "beware of offenses...it would be better if a millstone were tied around your neck and you were thrown into the sea than to cause one of these little ones who believe in Christ to stumble".
e.On the Day of Judgment--dear wife--let not your husband excuse himself by saying, "It is the woman that you gave me"! Be his "ornament of grace", rather than his "ring of gold in a pig's snout".
2.She saw the importance of what he did.
a.Aquila was a "layman"; and so received little glory and less money for serving the Lord. Thus, Priscilla might well have undervalued his ministry. She wouldn't have objected to his church membership--as long as it didn't require anything of him. But it did--and much. It made him put up Paul for 18 months. It made him host the church in his home. It made him study theology. It even put his head on the chopping block. The average wife would have thought him foolish in the extreme!
b.But Priscilla was anything but "average". She saw the importance in what he did and no doubt reminded her husband of the same. Who knows? Maybe she sang Galatians 6:9 to her husband when he was low and wondering if it was "worth it all".
"Let us not be weary in well doing,
for in due season we shall reap,
if we faint not".
c.Likewise, ladies, you must remember what your Christian husband is. He is not, mainly, you husband; not mainly your children's father; not mainly your breadwinner. He is--first and foremost--a servant of Christ! And you ought to value whatever he does for the Lord. Not ridicule it; pick it apart; or compare it unfavorably with what other men do; but esteem it very highly--and let your husband know how you feel.
3.She encouraged him in his ministry. This is evident from her presence. Why would she have been there, if she didn't believe that he needed her support? But rather than saying, "Stand on your own two feet", she preferred to stand alongside him.
a.Here too, some women have much to learn. It is not enough to "not oppose" your husband's efforts to serve Christ. You must support and inspire him in what he does. After all, "he who is not with me is against me--said Christ--and he who does not gather with me scatters abroad". There is no neutrality. You either encourage your husband to serve Christ or--actively or passively--hinder his service.
b.But why should you encourage him in this work--even when it takes time away from you? It's very simple, really: because that's what you're for! Wives are made to be their husband's "helpmeet". This means "someone uniquely fitted to help him serve Christ".
4.She shared in his ministry. This too, is evident from her presence. It was "Aquila and Priscilla" who showed Apollos the way of the Lord more perfectly...who sailed to Syria with Paul...who hosted the church in their house...who saluted the saints in the Lord...who risked their necks for Paul...and who are called, "fellow workers in Christ Jesus".
a.Thus, she did more than "not oppose" or even "encourage" Aquila in his work for Christ. She came alongside and "bore the heat of the day with him".
Priscilla was a remarkable woman, to be sure. But hers was not an unreachable ideal. Her life is an example for others to follow. She is "the virtuous woman" in the flesh. And so, if you want to be like her, dear wife, you have to:
1.Eliminate those things (from yourself) which vex and grieve your husband. Remember, these things do more than "get under his skin"--they endanger his soul! What things? Coldness. Nagging. Overspending. Defiance. Discontent with who and what he is. It is possible that you husband may endure these things with grace, but it will be mighty hard. Even Samson couldn't take it. If you honestly want him to serve the Lord, don't consume him with worry and grief over what you're doing.
2.Show your dependence on him for spiritual leadership. For what it's worth, it was always "Aquila and Priscilla"--and never the other way around. This will heighten the man's sense of responsibility, and keep him on his knees, begging for guidance from above. But when you don't, when you defy his rule, you humiliate him and make him despair, "What's the use?" This is the reason (I believe) that Paul commands the Corinthian sisters to not ask questions in church, but "if they have any questions, let them ask their husbands at home". It keeps them from becoming "the physical wives" of one man and the "spiritual wives" of another!
3.Become interested in whatever your husband does for Christ. If it is family devotions, pay attention. If it is evangelizing his fellow workers, ask him about it. If he's reading a Christian book, ask him to tell you about it. But what if it's boring deluxe? Should you still be interested? Remember that your interest in not chiefly in what he does, but in him. If it interests him, it should interest you. Why? Because God has made you two "one flesh".
4.Make it a rule to encourage him in whatever he does. Even if his attempts at family worship or Bible study are pathetic, encourage him in it. For even Christ (whose standards are higher than yours) "would not break the bruised reed or quench the smoking flax". Neither should you.
5.Pray for him. Not so much that he would "meet your needs", but that he would "serve the Lord".
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