1.You can listen. It is impossible to solve a problem without first knowing what it is. But the one with the problem may be too upset and scared to think clearly. But by talking to you, he is required to organize his thoughts. Which often frames the issue--and may even solve the problem. Let me illustrate. Some years ago, a man heard my sermon on the radio and called to ask for my help. "What's the problem?" I asked. "Ah, too much to discuss over the phone". "Okay, come over and we'll talk about it" I said. He drove two hours and arrived right on time. "Oh my problems are terrible! I have no assurance of my salvation, I haven't found a church home, I don't have any friends, I can't keep a job, I'm in debt..." He talked non-stop for about three hours, at the end of which monologue, he said: "I know! I just have to get busy". He was right. His every problem stemmed from laziness. But he only discovered this by "talking it through"--which required someone to listen. Even Job's friends were helpful as they sat with their mouths shut.

2.You can sympathize. "Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep". This keeps your hurting friend from feeling alone and God-forsaken. After all, if one of the Lord's people is here, who sent him? God, of course. But if the Lord sent him, He must be present, too. Your compassion, moreover, reminds your friend of another who is "touched with the feeling of our infirmities". Shall Christ weep over His enemies while we remain apathetic toward our friends?

3.You can pray. "Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father who is in heaven". What an encouragement this is for the suffering saint! God will answer united prayer. But with whom will he unite to offer this request? Who better than his sympathetic friend?

4.You can offer indirect advice. You may know nothing about your friend's problem. But you know other things, don't you? Things that he may have forgotten? You know that God "loves (him) with an everlasting love". He may not be thinking of that at the moment. You think it might help him? You know that "all things work together for the good of those who love God". But your friend may not--at least not now. Remind him of that. It will be "health to his navel and marrow to his bones". Or, crushed by sorrow, he may have neglected prayer or Bible-reading or church-going. You can gently remind him that to do so is to "forsake your own mercy". Again, you may not know anything about his problem per se', but you know something about him. Minister to him.

5.You can share your own experiences. "No temptation has taken you but that which is common to man". Sorrows make us introspective. We begin to think that "nobody has ever undergone such a thing". But, of course, we're wrong. "Man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upward". You can tell your friend how you too have suffered; how that you despaired; how that you besought God for help; how that He seemed far away; and how that--in time--you saw Him at work in the trial to do you good and to bind you closer to Himself. It is no small encouragement to hear a friend say (about himself): "It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn His statues". Or, "His grace is sufficient for me".

6.You can look together for an answer. "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor". Maybe God has not given the answer to your friend. But this is not to say that there is no answer. Maybe He will reveal it to you. Promise your friend that you will study the Bible and pray and think, and not stop till He solves the mystery of His own will. But don't only promise. Keep the promise. Study on your own and with your friend, too.

7.You can wait together. Note the plural: "Let not those who wait for you, O LORD GOD of Hosts, be ashamed..." God's will cannot be rushed. But we can "calm and quiet our souls as a weaned child" and wait for the unfolding of Providence. Who is manly enough to do this alone? Precious few of us. We need friends alongside to strengthen our hands, to reprove impatience, and to bring our Savior to mind.