TEXT: Luke 17:1-10

SUBJECT: Luke #63: A Lesson in Forgiveness

Do you believe in the forgiveness of sin?

You ought to, for the Bible teaches it often—and in words too plain to miss.

Not only does the Bible speak of forgiveness, but so do the Sacraments. They don’t confer forgiveness, but they do recall it and symbolize it.

Forgiveness is the theme of many beloved hymns. One favorite goes like this:

From the founding of the Church to this day, the Lord’s people have consistently affirmed it. Christians differ on many points of doctrine and practice, but on one thing we see eye-to-eye. The Apostles’ Creed speaks for us all:

But, of course, we do—if God is doing the forgiving.

What we’re not so eager to confess is our belief in forgiving those who have done us wrong. We have no problem with one part of the Lord’s Prayers—"Forgive us our debts"—it’s the other part we don’t like—"As we forgive our debtors".

The forgiveness of sin is a package deal—you take the whole thing or you get nothing. The unforgiving are also the unforgiven. That’s not a pleasant thought, is it? We think of the ones who have done us wrong—not once or twice, but a million times; it wasn’t a superficial hurt they inflicted on us, but a wound that cut to the bone. We think of the unfaithful husband or the abusive parents or the ungrateful kids or the best friend who betrayed us.

The memories hurt; the sores fester. It’s a pebble in your shoe and a sliver you cannot pull out. It’s a ghost during the day and a bad dream at night. How different your life would be—how much happier you would be—if only…

But there’s no getting around it. You’ve been hurt—hurt badly, intentionally, and often.

Now, what are you going to do about it? As a disciple of Christ, you have no choice: you have to forgive—whether you feel like it or not. In today’s story, the Lord tells you how. He does not offer a complete theory of forgiveness, but if you start here, you’ll be far better off than you are right now and relationships that seem impossibly broken may be restored.

He begins by telling us "It is impossible that no offenses should come". In other words, people will hurt you. It’s a part of life, a part no one is immune to. The kindest, gentlest, most patient man in the world will be done wrong. We know this because—He has been done wrong. Jesus Christ is the meekest man who ever lived; there is nothing in Him to despise or persecute, yet He was "hated without a cause" and crucified!

The community our Lord is thinking of is the Church—"He said to the disciples". Thus, He has in mind, not the pain your enemies inflict on you, but the wrongs done you by your friends—other disciples of Christ.

The Lord is not a Utopian—He does not promise that life among His people will be characterized by a deep and abiding love. He knows better. We are both saints and sinners.

What kind of offense does He have in mind? Some minor irritant, maybe? An accident, an oversight, an unkind word spoken in haste and without meaning to be?

No, not at all. The offense He has in mind is a big one: one so big and bad and awful that it would better to die by drowning than to do that to someone. It’s the kind of wrong that makes you cry your eyes out or pound your fist and say,

This is the kind of offense the Lord is talking about. And it is this kind of offense He wants you to forgive.

What do you do when someone does you wrong? The first thing to do—the Lord says—is to "take heed". This word is used about a dozen times in the New Testament, and always in a negative setting. It means to beware or to become suspicious.

That sounds easy enough! That’s the natural thing to do when someone says or does something we don’t like: we snap to attention and begin thinking suspicious thoughts about him.

The problem is: The Lord doesn’t tell us to "Take heed" of others, but of ourselves. When offended, the first person you ought to pay attention to is yourself! Not what he meant by that, but how am I to respond to it?

When offended, you need to beware of angry words—words you cannot take back. Beware of bitter feelings—feelings that grieve the Holy Spirit and poison your life. Beware of self-pity. Beware of exaggerating the offense. Beware of gossip. Beware of doing things you’ll be sorry for later. Beware of thinking revenge.

But, most of all, beware of self-righteousness. Nothing makes you more sensitive (in the bad way) and harder to make up with than the belief that you have never done anything half as bad as what’s been done to you!

Of all the verse in the Bible I have a hard time obeying, I’m not sure any is harder than Ecclesiastes 7:21-22:

I am staggered by the gossip I hear about myself: I wonder how anyone could be so cruel and hateful and unjust about me? But then I have to remember that I’ve said the same things myself.

When someone does you wrong, be careful how to respond. Beware of the malignant power of pride, ugly thoughts, hard words, and actions that cannot be undone.

Two verses come to mind:

In preparing the sermon, I only meant to quote the third verse, about keeping a watch over our words. But the next verse is even more needful: guarding our hearts from evil attitudes—which the Psalmist calls "delicacies".

This reminds us that hard feelings or grudges are bittersweet things—bitter in one way, but sweet in another: nothing feels better than self-pity. It makes me feel special and justifies my sin.

The other verse is James 1:19-20:

One last thing here: There is no real difference between blowing up on the outside and blowing up on the inside. Quiet bitterness is no better than ranting and raving.

And so, when someone does you wrong, become very suspicious—of yourself. That’s the first rule.

RULE #2: REBUKE

The second rule is to rebuke him:

"Rebuke" is a word we don’t use every day. It means to call someone on the wrong he has done you—to point out his fault. It does not mean to yell and scream and curse at him; it does not mean to nitpick and faultfind; it does not mean you can exaggerate his defects or overlook his good points. It does not mean you can attack his motives or put the worst construction on what he has done. And it certainly does not allow you to call him an unsaved man because of the offense.

There is a sting in every rebuke. But we are not permitted to make it into a welt—no less a mortal wound. You have to sting someone, but you’re to do it as gently as you can. It’s a mosquito bite we’re looking for—not the sting of a scorpion’s tail!

Many verses can be cited to this effect. For example:

Paul assumes people in church are going to sin and he tells the mature saints to have a little talk with them. But the talk must aim for their recovery—not just telling it like it is! It’s to be done in meekness (which is something like humility and kindness put together). It’s to be done with a sense that you’re no better than he is—and that before long, he may have to correct you.

The goal here is to not needlessly embarrass him. Nothing is less likely to bring a man to repentance than the feeling that he’s being ganged-up on.

This one is spoken to ministers, but can be applied to all Christians. Note: the rebuke does not expect an immediate 180 degree change! That would be good, of course, but it’s not very realistic. Thus, Paul tells Timothy to rebuke with longsuffering—to work with the person in other words, and to accept slow and incomplete change. The other word is also interesting: he says to rebuke with doctrine—that is, Bible teaching. Not with your opinions, but with the sure words of God.

The goal of rebuke is not to make you feel better! Not to get something off your chest. No, what you’re aiming for is the good of the other person. The best way to know if your rebuke is a right one is to ask yourself: Is this how I want to be talked to?

If you were in the wrong, would you want to be talked to in that tone of voice? With that look on his face? With that choice of words? In front of other people? At this time? In short, apply to Golden Rule:

Should we overlook the faults of each other? Of course we ought to—if we didn’t, we’d be quarrelling every minute of the day. But serious offenses need rebuke—not loud, ugly, judgmental abuse, but firm and kind rebuke. That’s the second rule.

RULE #3

The last rule is also the hardest: "If he repents forgive him". That doesn’t sound very hard. If he apologizes from the bottom of his heart and changes himself so radically that he never does it again, it’s fairly easy to forgive him—even if what he did was rotten to the core.

But that’s not what the Lord has in mind here. No, He goes on to say,

How genuine is an apology offered seven times in a day? How deep has a man repented if he does the same thing six more times before the sun goes down?

What does this mean? It means we’re to forgive others on easy terms. We cannot demand proof positive that they are sorry and swear to never do it again. We cannot place conditions on our pardon or put them on probation till we know they mean it.

God has forgiven us on very easy terms (easy to us, not to Him!). We are to extend the same courtesy to others. Whether we feel like it or not.

These are the rules for making up. They apply to every Christian relationship: between husband and wife, parent and child, brother and sister, boss and worker, fellow members of the church.

It is a hard work the Lord has called us to. He knows how hard it is—because He Himself has done it—and still is! The disciples were stupid men, vain, selfish, and slow to learn. He corrected them at times, but He never lost them. He does the same for us. His Word and Spirit rebuke us, but they do not tear us to pieces or give any hint that we are not loved or not wanted or not accepted.

He has set the example. And He wants us to follow it.

The disciples are blown away at His command. They thought forgiving a brother seven times was quite enough—but not seven times every day! No less seventy times seven.

All they can think to say is: "Lord, increase our faith!"

They believe that a special gift of faith is required to forgive people who have done you wrong.

At first glance this is admirable; it seems that they’re humble men who feel their dependence on God’s grace.

But the Lord doesn’t look at it that way. He says they do not need another kind of faith! Or a whole lot more of it. All they need is faith about the size of a mustard seed. If they had even that much, they would do things way harder than forgive people their wrongs.

In other words, forgiving others is not half as hard as we make it. Why not? Because it is not about warm feelings and it’s not about forgetting what others have done. No, what it’s about is obedience.

We must forgive others—not because we feel like it or because they didn’t really mean it or will never do it again and so on. But because our Master, the Lord Jesus Christ, has commanded us to forgive them.

This is the point of the little story tacked on to the end. If a servant does his duty, he gets no special reward—after all, it was only his duty that he did. In the same way, forgiving others is not a heroic act of faith, but simply our job. When you think of forgiving others this way (as a job, like going to work or going to school or mowing the lawn), it becomes more doable—not easy, but doable. With the Lord’s blessing.

How do you respond to wrongs? Do you say nothing while seething inside? If so, you need to repent of that, and rebuke the person who has badly hurt you. Bad attitudes are never justified—no matter what was done to cause them.

Are you hard to make up with? Are you the kind of person to whom an apology is not good enough? You need someone to crawl and grovel and beg and be really good for a long time before you’re ready to make up with him? What if the Lord did that to you?

Are you thoughtless about hurting people—tramping all over their feelings? If you are, why don’t go buy an anchor, tie it around your neck and toss it into the San Francisco Bay! How can you allow things like being tired or cranky or not getting your way cause you to hurt people—people whom God loves and for whom Christ died?

When it comes to taking offense, we ought to be far less sensitive than we are. But when it comes to giving offense, much more sensitivity is needed. In short,

We have much to be grateful for! Some preachers don’t practice what they preach: they set high standards but don’t live up to them. But Jesus Christ does! The Man who commands you to forgive others on easy terms does the same thing Himself!

How thankful we ought to be that He is slow to wrath and that His discipline is gentle. We can only close with the Psalm,