TEXT: Luke 18:15-17

SUBJECT: Family Life #38: Don’t Hinder Your Kids!

Most Christian parents have a romantic view of their kids. Despite all the facts, they still believe that their kids are born innocent and safe in the arms of Jesus.

They were not! Sinners are born—not made. And unless your children are born again by the Almighty love and power of God, the will be lost forever.

This means we ought to pray for our kids: not only for their health, for their schooling, and for their happiness in this life, but also—and even more—for their salvation. You son may be the best behaved boy in the world; your daughter may be sweeter than honey. And yet, if he does not repent, he will perish; if she does not believe she must die the second death. This is true of your children and of mine: the Bible indicts the whole human race outside of Christ: "Every mouth is stopped and all the world is guilty before God".

Can parents save their children? No we cannot. But the Lord can use us to save them. He is the source of their happiness, but we moms and dads may be the pipeline through which that happiness comes to them. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to see your kids come to Christ? And wouldn’t it be even better if He used you to do it?

This is the longing of every believing heart! To see our children walking in the truth!

We can have a part in our kids’ salvation. We can pray for them; we can evangelize them; we can set a good example; we can bring them to church. These are positive things we can do—and every one of us ought to be doing them—and more!

But as important as these things are, I’m going to set them aside for the moment, and look at the other side—at the ways we hinder our children from coming to faith.

Is it possible for a believer—a true believer—to block others from coming to Christ? Sure it is! Our verses give an example of just that. Except for Judas Iscariot, all the Apostles were true believers in Christ and very much committed to bringing sinners to Him. And yet these very same men—Peter, James, John and all the rest—were hindering little children from coming to the Lord. By their words and actions (and attitudes) they were not allowing them to come. Mark goes even further: he says they were forbidding the little ones!

Isn’t that something? I’ve forbidden my boys to lie or steal of take the Lord’s name in vain. But have I forbidden them to come to Christ? I’ve never said that, of course, but have I? Have you? It’s something to think about. And to repent of.

How then do believing parents hinder their kids from coming to Christ?

In the first place, we hinder our kids by neglecting them. Underline the word, them. I’m not talking about the neglect of taking them to church, teaching them the Bible, or family worship. No, I mean neglecting them—not paying attention to them; not, really, getting to know them.

I am not against door-to-door evangelism or leafleting a neighborhood for Christ. But in a lifetime of church-going, I’ve seen very little fruit come from such efforts. Most people are converted through the personal touch. Other than the Message itself, the most important factor in winning sinners to Christ is connecting with them. Witnessing is most effective with people who know you—neighbors, colleagues, family members, friends.

These are the ones most likely to hear us out; the people who will think about what we’ve said; and call us back when they’ve got a question or a problem with what we’ve said. In his little book, Friendship Evangelism, Arthur McPhee says,

This—I think—is one of our main faults in trying to win our kids to Christ. As weird as it sounds, many parents—believing parents—don’t know their kids. They are more like landlords than parents and the kids are more like boarders than children. The people live together—but they’re not a family, only strangers connected by blood-ties.

Have you gotten to know your kids? Do you spend time with them—time not lecturing them or bawling them out? Many fathers love their kids—in the sense that they provide for them—but they don’t like them; they don’t enjoy their company; the kids are more on their nerves than in their hearts.

This is a very great hindrance to your son’s or daughter’s salvation. To kids not connected to their parents, the Gospel sounds like, well, just more nagging.

The best time to start knowing your kids is the day they are born. Maybe you were too busy for that then. Maybe you’ve wasted precious years, plopped down in front of a TV or making money. You cannot regain the lost time. But you don’t have to lose more time. Start getting to know your kids now. But don’t be pushy and obnoxious about it. Be natural; take an interest in what they like—without telling them why it’s so stupid and worldly.

If you want to promote your kids’ salvation, build a relationship with them. And start today.

In the second place, we hinder them by religious education. I’m not too crazy about the wording, but I couldn’t think of a better way of saying it. By religious education, I don’t mean Sunday school, Christian school, home school, but I mean teaching them God’s Word.

Some things can be inherited: like curly hair or blue eyes. Other things can be picked up without any effort at all: like your mannerisms. But the knowledge of God’s Word is not gotten that way. It has to be learned, which means it has to be taught.

Your children’s first Bible teacher is not the pastor or the Sunday School teacher, but you! How much time do you spend telling your kids about the Lord Jesus Christ? It is discouraging to think that good parents will spend hours tutoring their kids in reading, writing, and arithmetic, but say little or nothing about God, Christ, the Holy Spirit, the Bible, Sin, Salvation, and the other things we all say are the things most important.

"Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God". You cannot give your kids faith. But you can give them the Word of God! Maybe you fathers need to give up your hobbies; maybe you mothers need to quit your jobs; maybe you need to shut off the TV and unplug the Net. And spend some quality time reading the Bible to your kids and telling them what it means!

In the third place, we hinder them by neglecting the Gospel in favor of the Law.

Both the Law and the Gospel are in the Bible; both are inspired; both are true; both are important. But Law and Gospel are not the same thing! No one has ever been saved by obeying his parents; no one has ever gone to heaven because he prays every night!

The Law is good and serves a necessary purpose. But it does not save. What the Law could not do, God did—by His Gospel.

Many parents are heavy on the Law and light on the Gospel. They may say it in so many words, but they still teach salvation by being good. Not to adults, of course, but to their kids that’s the message they communicate.

Are you a legalist with your kids? Do you hammer away on what they’ve done wrong and hardly ever mention what Christ has done right? Or, that there is forgiveness for people who have done wrong?

Even if you say the right words, is your personality law-centered? Are you always on the lookout to bust your kids? Are you quicker to get mad at them than to forgive them?

Who are you more like? Moses who slammed down the Ten Commandments when he saw sinners or the Lord Jesus Christ who threw open His arms to sinners?

Teach the Law as a way of showing gratitude to God! But never, never, as a way of finding favor with Him. Only the Gospel does that!

Finally, we hinder our kids by neglecting ourselves. What Paul says to pastors also applies to parents:

I’ve already mentioned your doctrine, but now, the harder part: take heed to yourself. We impede our kids’ spiritual life by not paying much attention to our own.

This does not require great wickedness! By only neglect. We don’t read our Bibles very often or very well. We don’t pray much or with much fervor. We don’t talk about the Lord. We don’t confess our sins. We spend a lot of time watching TV. We gossip on the phone.

A slip-up here and there does very little damage to our kids. But over the years, ignoring the things of God takes its toll: on us and on our kids. We say nothing means more to us than Christ and His service, but our lives don’t match our words. We’re decent people, somewhat religious, conservative, maybe. But our lives plainly reveal that Jesus Christ is not our first priority.

Without meaning to, we communicate this to our kids. We hope they don’t notice—but they do! We think we can fool them—but we can’t. Our love for Christ is nothing but empty words.

I know you want your kids to be saved. I also know that you don’t mean to hinder their salvation. But whether you mean to or not, neglecting them does it. So does neglecting their religious education. And neglecting the Gospel. And neglecting godliness for yourself.

Are you guilty of these things? I am: every one of them and more. But there is hope for the guilty and that hope is not in his resolve to do better from this day forward—and this time, I mean it! Haven’t you said this a million times already, only to fail every time? Haven’t all your failures taught you anything? Haven’t they taught you there is no strength in yourself?

If they have, I urge you to find your strength in Someone Else: in Jesus Christ who welcomes sinners to Himself—even those who are already saved! Even those who have neglected their kids—and want to repent.

So why don’t you confess your failures to Christ and find a new life in Him? And why not now?

May God bring every one of our kids to faith. And may He use us parents to do it! For Christ’s sake. Amen.