TEXT: I Peter 3:1-6

SUBJECT: Family Life #5: Win Your Husband

This is the fourth Sunday afternoon of the month and so it's time for another take on Family Life. Thus far, God has told husbands to enjoy their wives; He's told wives to love their husbands; to parents, He said, "Be courteous" to your children; and He's urged children to please their parents.

Today, God's Word speaks to the wife once again. Not to every woman, perhaps, but to the dear sister who's married to an unsaved man.

Hers is not an easy life. But the Lord is very sympathetic; He "puts [her] tears in a bottle...[and] writes them in His book". Do we feel for our sisters-in-Christ? Do we "bear [her] burdens and thus fulfill the law of Christ"? Do we pray earnestly for her? Do we supply her with practical help? Does she know we love her? Does her husband think so? These are examples of brotherly love. Which must "continue" in the Church. God help us all to be more compassionate than we are. And to "Esteem others better than ourselves".

Having said this, let's get back to the subject. What does the Lord want the believing wife to do about her unsaved husband?

We needn't guess. Peter spells it out for us in these verses:

"Be submissive to your own husbands". Submission is a state of mind; it's yielding to your husband's authority in love. This is not easy to do; it's not easy for anyone. But it's especially hard if your husband knows less than you do or isn't as holy as you are.

Yet there it is--in black and white! Speaking to saved women married to unsaved men, God says, "Be submissive to your own husbands".

Submission is like the wind, invisible itself, yet the effects are clearly seen. The submissive wife obeys her husband--without sassing him back and without sulking.

Her obedience, of course, is not absolute. It's always right "to obey God rather than man". But unless the husband urges her to disobey God, the wife is bound to respect his wishes and comply--with a good attitude.

Why should the wife submit to her husband?

That's the first thing God says to the sister married to an unsaved man--"Be submissive" to him.

The next thing he wants is "chaste conduct". Or purity of life. Maybe she has praised "the fruit of the Spirit" to her husband. How wonderful it--"love, joy, peace, longsuffering", and so on. She mustn't stop there--praising godliness. She must go on to practice it. In ways visible and obvious and unmistakable to her husband.

Is the believer supposed to be forgiving? If so, why's she holding a grudge? That's not "chaste conduct".

Is the Christian supposed to be self-controlled? If so, why's she gossiping in front of him? That's not "chaste conduct".

Is "a meek and quiet spirit precious in the sight of God"? If so, why's she so arrogant and noisy?

The holiest teaching is discredited by an inconsistent life. It makes "the enemies of the LORD blaspheme". But that's not what the sister wants, is it? She doesn't want her man made worse, but won to Christ! To see that, she must live a pure life before him.

The third thing God wants is "fear" or respect for your husband. This is a hard one. Good men are often not respected by their wives. "It has to be earned" they're told. Is that right? To some degree, yes.

But there is a basic respect every wife owes her husband--no matter what kind of man he is. The husband Peter has in mind "does not obey the Word". He wilfully rejects Jesus Christ and His claim on his life.

Yet he must be "feared" or respected. How is this possible? By remembering that "the husband is the head of the wife". Not "should be"; not "may be if he's worthy", but "is". David respected a king possessed by demons; Sarah respected a husband who denied her twice; the Early Church respected Caesar; Paul respected the High Priest. The wife, in short, is to respect her husband--because he is her husband.

Fourthly, the wife must grow in grace, vv.3,4. Some have taken the verses to mean: "Never mind looking good". That's not what it means. It simply means put the inner person above the outer; be more concerned for your soul than your hair.

Finally, the wife must put on "a meek and quiet spirit". This means she mustn't be peevish or combative, ugly or defiant. This means she is easy to get along with; she's cooperative.

It also means she doesn't "preach at her husband". She wants him to be saved, of course. When opportunity presents itself, she speaks up for Christ. But she doesn't nag him about it. Or bring in others to do it for her. If he won't hear the Word, she makes the Gospel visible to him in her life, with the prayer that "without a Word, he will be won as he beholds her chaste conduct coupled with fear".

The woman who lives this way can look to God for a blessing. It makes her "a daughter of Sarah"--high praise indeed. It's likely to win her husband to Christ.

I pray God will enable our sisters to live in this way. And bless their efforts by saving their husbands. May God do it for Christ's sake. Amen.