TEXT: Proverbs 10:1

SUBJECT: Family Life #4: Please Your Parents

Today brings us to the fourth sermon in our study of Family Life. Thus far, I've spoken to husbands, to wives, and to parents. Today, a word to children. To little ones and to big ones too.

I pray God will bless His Word to the happiness of our homes.

YOU OUGHT TO PLEASE YOUR PARENTS

This is taught in the Bible, quite directly. In Philippians 2:3-4, we read,

The negative duty is: "Don't be selfish". The positive one: "Put others ahead of yourself". In other words, try to please other people rather than yourself.

I know the context, of course. This is speaking to the Church, not the family. But isn't humility needed at home too? Of course it is? And what is "humility", but putting self-interest aside for the welfare of others?

Of course the Bible teaches this--quite directly...and often.

The example of our Lord supports the case. What is God's will for us? It is to be "conformed to the image of His Son". Did our Lord, please His Father? He did. "I do always those things which please Him..."This is My beloved Son in Whom I am well pleased". And not only His Father in Heaven. Our Lord pleased His earthly father too!

"He came to Nazareth

and was subject to them".

In body and soul.

Our Proverb suggests the same, doesn't it? It equates wisdom--not with doing your own thing, whatever your parents think--but in making them happy. "A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the grief of his mother".

13:1 is similar: "A wise son heeds his father's instructions, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke". The child who doesn't care what his parents think is a "scoffer"--and to Solomon that's a very bad word. He's a "fool", a troublemaker, a criminal, and "an abomination to men". This is what a Wise Man thinks of the child who won't try to please his parents.

30:17 is even rougher: "The eye that mocks his father and scorns obedience to his mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out and the young eagles will eat it". In other words, the child who doesn't care what his parents want will be severely judged.

Make no mistake about it, children: You ought to please your parents.

HOW TO PLEASE YOUR PARENTS

If your parents believe in Christ, nothing would please them more than to see you believe! "I have no greater joy than to see my children walking in the truth" wrote the Apostle. I speak to my own boys: Your mother and I want you to be saved! With all our hearts, we want you to be saved! Why don't you, sons, trust in Jesus Christ right now?

And not my children only. But all the others, too. Your parents want you to believe.

Parents--do your children know that? Don't make them guess. Tell them, point blank: "I want you to believe in Christ! I want it more than anything in the world! If you haven't told them that--shame on you!

That's the first thing.

Your parents also want you to obey them. To do what they tell you to do--without arguing or looking for loopholes or putting it off or grumbling all the way. That would please them very much.

Your parents want you to honor them. To speak to them with respect and to feel it in your heart. That would make them happy.

Your parents want you to love your brothers and sisters. Not to boss them or to fight them or to ignore them or to tattle on them, but to love them.

My list is not complete, of course. But I know your parents want these things. As for the rest, why don't you...ask them?

PLEASING YOUR PARENTS WON'T HURT YOU. IN FACT, IT WILL BE A GREAT BLESSING TO EVERYONE.

It will do you good. Most parents want what's best for their children. Thus, by pleasing them, you're doing yourself a favor, too. For example, why do you think your parents tell you to study? So they can get a bumper sticker! Of course not! They tell you to study hard because it will help you to live better in the years to come--and to make a living too.

It will do your parents good too. Disobedient, sneaky, or sulking children provoke their parents to wrath. It tempts them to yell, to curse, and other bad things. Do you want to contribute to their sin? Of course you don't. Happy children give their parents a peace of mind that allows them to grow in grace. And that's very good for them.

It will make God happy. He's not pleased with fighting in the home, with defiant kids and angry parents. He wants the home to be a happy place. Which it can be...if you please your parents.

One final word here: If you try to please your parents, you'll be happy when they're gone. Most of you kids, I suppose, will outlive your parents. When they die, you can't make things right with them. My mother died this year--and I'm very sad about it. But I'm not eaten up with remorse. For I tried to please her--as a kid and as an adult. She didn't die of a broken heart. I'm sad, but not guilty. Will you feel this way when your parents die? You will...if you try to please them.

IS IT EVER RIGHT TO NOT PLEASE YOUR PARENTS?

Of course it is. When pleasing your parents means displeasing God, it is right to not please your parents. "We ought to obey God rather than men". If necessary, even parents must be "hated for Christ's sake". If your parents want you to sin--don't do it. If holiness breaks their hearts, then break their hearts.

There is another time when children may displease their parents: when the parents overstep their authority.

Now, I'm speaking to young adults more than little kids. It is hard for parents to "let go" of their children. Sometimes, they want to make decisions for them that are not theirs to make. Things like marriage and career, for example.

If your parents do this, you're not obliged to please them. Marriage is your decision--not theirs.

This does not mean, however, that you may defy them or be ugly with them! You can never do that without blame! No matter how unreasonable they are, you must "Honor your father and mother".

How do you do this? Here's a start:

A WORD TO PARENTS

If God wants your children to please you, He wants you to be easy to please. Don't nitpick everything they do; that only "provokes them to wrath". Imitate your Father in heaven who is "Merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth".

Does God pick apart everything you do? He does not! If He did, He could never be pleased with anything you do. Yet He is! Your little works are "sweet odors to Him, sacrifices well pleasing". Be this kind of parent yourself.

One last word: Remember, your children don't belong to you. Their final loyalty is to God. If He calls them to a life other than the one you hoped for, accept it with grace, and wait to see Him "Work all things together for good".

CLOSE

May God make you children eager to please. May God make us parents easy to please. May He do them both "to the praise of the glory of His grace". Amen.