TEXT: James 1:26

SUBJECT: The Bridled Tongue #6: Humility

Today, with the help of God’s Spirit, we’ll get back to our study of The Bridled Tongue. To "bridle your tongue"—you know—means to control what you say, how you say it, and when. The motive for doing that is quite compelling: If you don’t bridle your tongue, your devotion to God is worthless.

Over the last few weeks, we’ve tried to find out what a Bridled Tongue looks like—or sounds like! Thus far, we’ve noted four things: truth, kindness, wholesomeness, and timeliness. You’re controlling your speech—in other words—when you’re speaking the truth in love and at the right time.

Now, we’ll move on to another quality of controlled speech—and that is humility.

We start by asking the obvious question: What makes your words humble or modest? This, I think, is best explained by way of contrast. Humble speech is the opposite of some other kinds of talk. What are they?

Boasting. The braggart is always talking about himself, what he is, what he’s done, and what’s he sure to do. Some boasters are secular. Haman is a prime example,

Note carefully: There is no mention of God in the man’s egotistical words. Nor, even of the gods he worshiped. Haman was a self-made man. He’s like most braggart of today—secular in their boasting.

This is pretty bad. But there’s a kind of bragging that is even worse. It’s religious. It’s bringing in God to draw attention to yourself. Here, you recall the Pharisee and his public prayer,

The man pretends to thank God for his holiness, but is only using the Sacred Name to make himself look good. He was a ancient Rush Limbaugh, with

What, then, is humble speech? It’s the opposite of boasting.

In the second place, modest talking is the opposite of groveling. Do you kids know what it means to grovel? It means to put yourself down all the time! To call yourself sinful and stupid and worthless, and so on. Not once-in-a-while, which is good, but to do it all the time—especially in front of other people.

The believer’s temptation is not so much to pray like the Pharisee at church, but like the Publican! We use his words, but without the humility he had. We beat our breasts in public so that others will know how humble we are!

But this is self-defeating. For the moment humility notices itself, it becomes something else. It becomes pride. If someone said, "No one is more generous than I am", we’d all spot the pride. But saying things like "No one is more sinful than I am" is no less conceited. It’s drawing attention to your humility.

Humble speech, then, is the opposite of groveling.

In the third place, humble speech is the opposite of monopolizing the conversation or never letting anyone else say anything.

My wife would tell you I’m pretty bad at this. And she’s right! But it’s always easier to see your faults in other people, so let me tell you a story. Several years ago, Norm, Gladys, and I went out to dinner with a couple of friends. Now, I was ready to take over the conversation the second I had a chance. But I never got that chance—because the woman never shut up! It was two or three hours of monologue. When even I can’t cut in, you know it’s bad!

I’m sure my friend meant no harm, but still, her non-stop talk (whatever it was about) was not humble. After all, humility is the opposite of putting yourself first. Which is exactly what she did that night!

Boasting, groveling, monopolizing. That’s what humble speech is not!

But what is it? Philippians 2:3 tells us exactly what it is,

Humble speech is the kind of talk that puts others first. Here no one is clearer than C.S. Lewis,

Is humble speech really that good? Sure it is. It’s good on many levels.

In the first place, it’s good for you.

It keeps your conscience clear, for one thing. Bragging is a sin; so is controlling every conversation. If you do that one of two things must occur: either you (1) feel guilty about what you’ve done—and that’s not good. Or, what’s worse, (2) you harden your heart and keep sinning without regret or repentance.

Do you want to keep a good conscience, and with it, freedom in prayer, and so on? If you do, you’ve got to speak with humility.

Modest talking will also make you better liked by others and more useful to them. A boaster thinks other people enjoy his company. They don’t! They may be too polite to say so, but nobody likes a blowhard! If you think otherwise, ask yourself, "Do I like that kind of person?" If you don’t chances are others won’t either.

But you say, "That’s true, but they’re boring and I’m interesting". That’s exactly what they think too.

If people can’t stand your company, you won’t be of any help to them either. Thus, if you want to be liked or helpful, you’ve got to humble your speech.

In the second place, humble speech is good for others.

Negatively, it keeps them from sinning. Impatience is a sin; contempt is a sin; gossip is a sin. Yet who wears you out faster than a self-centered person? And who do you look down on more than him? And, when he’s not around, who do you laugh about or criticize more than the man with an ego the size of Texas?

Positively, humble speech blesses other people. It sets a good example, for one thing. But also, because it’s focused on them—and not yourself--it can be helpful.

In the third place, it’s good for the Lord.

Because it’s centered on self, proud talking cannot be focused on the Lord. But humble words can be and often are. The

Bible nowhere commands us to go on and on about ourselves. But the last Psalm says,

It also glorifies the Lord by caring for others. It’s one way we "Love our neighbor as ourselves". And that makes God visible in the world and causes men to

If humble speech is good for you, helps others, and glorifies God, it must be a very good thing. And so it is,

If the Lord wants us to speak humbly, we’ve got to do it. Not talk about doing it, but do it. We’ve got to get past "hearing the Word"—or even preaching the Word—to "doing the Word".

I haven’t got all the answers here, but I can tell you where to start!

It is not with self-examination!

Have you ever heard your voice on a tape? Does it sound like you? Mine doesn’t. When most people hear their voices played back to them they say, "I don’t really sound like that, do I?"

Yes you do. Everyone knows that. Everyone but you. Your voice sounds different to you than it does to everyone else.

What’s true of your voice is also true of your words. What sounds innocent and interesting to you may be horribly self-centered to other people. The only way to find out is to ask them.

This means you’ve got to listen to your friends.

Most people don’t love you enough to tell you the truth. Thus, you’ve got to ask the person who loves you best and is secure enough to tell it like it is. If he says you’re proud and self-centered, you probably are.

It also means you’ve got to listen to your critics.

If it’s hard to take reproof from your good friends, it’s even hard to take it from your worst critics. But, again, because they’re not likely to flatter you, they often can tell you things no one else will. Things that hurt, but are also true and good for you if you take them to heart.

It also means you’ve got to pay attention to the effect your talk is having on other people.

If people start drifting away the moment you open your mouth, you can be pretty sure you’re boring them to tears with your selfish ways. If you notice other talkative persons going silent up when you start talking, you can bet you’re dominating the conversation. Pay attention to body language; look at eye-lids (are they drooping?). Listen to what others are saying? If they’re saying little more than "uh huh, yeah, oh really" you know why.

Other people are not infallible, of course, but they can give you a perspective you can’t get anywhere else. Listen to what others say about your conversation and watch what it does to them.

Once you get a better fix on yourself, you must repent of your selfishness. The humblest person may—at times—talk too much about himself. But if it’s a habit, the problem is deeper than your words. It’s in your heart. You need to confess it to the Lord, and work hard at changing!

Underline the word hard. Change is never easy! It demands real and daily effort. With God’s help, we have to

You must pray for grace. Change is hard, but, in Christ, it is possible—Philippians 4:13. You need to pray for His help. Make it a regular part of your daily prayers. When you feel the temptation coming on or the old habit returning in force, offer a quick prayer. Not all prayers are acceptable to God. But this one is! Cf. I John 5:14.

Finally, just remember the old saying, Silence is Golden. You’re not required to keep every conversation alive. People don’t need to know your every hope and dream! They can live without knowing the state of your heart or the condition of your liver. At times, there’s nothing better to do than to shut your mouth.

There you have it: Humility in speech. May God give it to us, for Christ’s sake. Amen.