TEXT: I Corinthians 13:5b

SUBJECT: What Love is #7: Not Selfish

The Meaning.

"To seek your own is to be selfish. Paul wants us to know that "seeking your own" does not square with brotherly love. He says so here--and elsewhere too. Philippians 2:3b is a good memory verse: "Let each esteem others better than himself".

The doctrine is illustrated everywhere in the Bible, both positively and negatively.

Paul is an example to be followed. How much he gave up for the good of God's people! In Chapter 8, he provides a partial list. He didn't marry; he didn't accept a salary; he wouldn't eat certain kinds of food. He had a right to each and every one, but he wouldn't exercise his rights. Why not? Because they might burden or hurt the Church he loved. And "love...does not seek its own".

King Saul is on the other side. He's a man who "seeks his own" at the expense of God's people. His chief duty is to fight the Philistines and to conquer them in the Name of the LORD. But he's not doing that, is he? He's fighting someone else--the best man in his army, no less. Why's he doing that? Because David's success threatens him. The good of God's people be hanged! Saul is "seeking his own".

What are you seeking? Your own good or the good of others? Don't be offended by the question, for you needn't be an apostate to lose your way. The pastors of the New Testament were mature and gifted men, yet Paul must say of them: "For all seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus". Of all the men Paul worked with only one--Timothy--was free of that spirit.

The Source.

Where does selfishness come from? We can be sure it doesn't come from God, for He is "not the author of confusion"--and nothing throws a church into more chaos and self-seeking.

Neither is it natural to man. For "God made man upright, but they sought out many devices". The first of which is selfishness!

Its true source is the devil. Our Lord said, "He speaks of his own". When he led the first rebellion, was he thinking of God's glory? Or the happiness of the angels? Or himself? When he tempts men, is it to do them good? Or to ruin them for his own sadistic pleasure? No one is more self-absorbed than Satan.

Yet he's not alone. As "The spirit who now energizes the children of disobedience", he has plenty of helpers. The media, for example, trumpet selfishness and mock living for others. Think about the novels you read, the movies you watch, the songs you listen to. Who is the hero? The man who does what others want him to do? Or the man who breaks free to do his own thing? The key line in one of my favorite films is:

"But what do you want to do, Jess?"

As though her father's wishes are irrelevant. And, as for God--well don't bring religion into it!

This isn't confined to the popular arts. For the last sixty years, all serious literature has made the same point: You find yourself by "seeking your own". If that means adultery or murder, so be it.

Let me move away from the media to the general population. I knew a man who fell in love with a young woman, proposed to her, and was about to marry, when something terrible happened: His mother had a stroke and became an invalid. He devoted the next forty years of his life to caring for her. Naturally, he lost the girl of his dreams, and didn't marry till he was 72! At the time, this sort of thing was expected. What would people think of him now? They'd think him a fool! Why? Because he "did not seek his own".

The spirit of selfishness has sunk into the bones of the body politic. Something like 70% of Americans support the "right to choose". Why? Because they "seek their own...convenience, comfort, and "lifestyle" at the expense of their own unborn children!

The Church is not free from the demon. Some of the biggest churches in America got that way be adopting a "Seeker-sensitive program". This means--in short--people are asked what they want in a church and the church gives it to them. If some want preaching, a pastor does it; if others want drama, bring in a director. Is God consulted? He isn't! But why should He be? If the goal is numbers, give the people what they want!

"The voice of the people

is the voice of God".

If this is true, selfishness needn't be chosen; it will occur without effort on our part and without thought. Therefore, we must think and choose against it! II Thessalonians 5:21; III John 11.

The Gravity.

Selfishness is a sin--a very bad sin. How bad is it? I must hurry. It is against the Law of God. Both Covenants forbid it with passion, Leviticus 19:17; Matthew 22:39.

It contradicts the example of Christ. He made choices: To become a man or not? To be born a peasant or not? To suffer abuse or not? To die or not? In each case He chose against His own comfort and for the welfare of others! II Corinthians 8:9.

It destroys brotherly love. Some things can be held in tension, but not these two. For "love" by its very nature is giving--John 3:16. But selfishness does nothing but take! It is "The leech's two daughters, crying, "Give, Give!".

The Cure.

If you're to quit "seeking your own", you must dwell on its results. If you could obtain everything you ever sought, what would you have? Solomon did just that and told us what he got out of it all: "Vanity of vanity".

You know why? Because you weren't made for consumption! You were made for communion! Augustine wrote:

"Lord, Thou hast made us for Thyself,

And our souls are restless till

they find their rest in Thee".

If you're to quit "seeking your own", you must dwell on the blessings of seeking things better. "The desire of the righteous will be granted". What self-seeking can't give you, love can. And does. After washing the disciples' feet, our Lord made a promise: "Happy are you if you do these things". Meaning, satisfaction, even happiness, are found in serving others for Christ's sake.

So? Let's do it. God help us. Amen.