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TEXT: I Corinthians 13:4
SUBJECT: What Love is #4: Not proud
"Love does not parade itself..."
To "parade" is to draw attention to yourself; to show off or to boast. If you're doing these things--Paul wants you to know--you're not living in brotherly love.
This was a big problem in the Church of Corinth. Four groups are identified as guilty of it. At the front of the line was the "tongue-speakers". The gift of tongues was given to the Early Church to bless the people of God. Some in Corinth had received the gift, but turned it into a curse. How? By giving long speeches in a foreign language without anyone to interpret them. Why would they do that? Not to teach, comfort, or reprove the church, but to draw attention to themselves.
The prophets were no better. Their gift was of great value to the Church, but the prophets were so eager to use their gifts, that they all spoke at the same time leading to mass confusion. Why would they do that? Not to edify the Church, but to parade their gifts.
The learned men were just as bad. Their knowledge, if properly used, could be of great help to the Church. But it wasn't properly used; men used their knowledge to demean the brotherhood, to make others feel stupid and without value. This knowledge did not "build up", but only "puffed up".
The wealthy were even worse. Money is a gift, given to the Church, for the benefit of all. If it's spent in love. But it wasn't at Corinth. The rich used their money to buy lavish meals which they ate in front of their hungry brethren. They were showing off their wealth and using it to harm others for whom Christ died.
Thus, showing off was a problem in Corinth--a big problem. And not there only. It remains a pox on the people of God in all ages. How does it show itself? In too many ways to number; here's a sample:
1.In talking about yourself constantly. This can take many forms. Boasting is the most obvious--telling everyone how great you are. Belittling yourself is another--telling people how awful you are (with the hope they'll disagree). Just giving everyone a running narrative of your life, leaving out no details, as though they're riveted by your every move.
Listen to yourself--how often do the words "me, myself, and I" come up in your daily conversation. Maybe more often than you'd care to admit. Ask someone else--someone who will tell you the truth--if you do this. You may not like what he says, but it will do you good. And others, too.
2.In mentioning your accomplishments without any reason to do it. If you've done something with your life, you shouldn't be ashamed to admit it. But neither should you bring it up without too often or without any need to. I once talked to a woman for five hours, during which time she mentioned she went to Harvard. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but she brought it up at least thirty times! And we weren't even talking about education!
3.In discussing your needs or faults all the time. The Body of Christ is to feel for its every member. But no member should monopolize its sympathy. This is what you do if you've never got anything to say but
"Poor, poor pitiful me".
4.The intangibles. The way you dress, the words you choose, your tone of voice, body language, and so on. There are ways of drawing attention to yourself with each of these. And remember, you can catch eyes with "humility" no less than with success. If you go to an attorney's convention, you'll see "the power look"--Armani suits, and so on. But, if you go to a homeschool convention, you'll see the "humble look"--straight hair, no makeup, frumpy clothes, and the like. Nothing wrong with dressing in either way, of course, unless its done to draw attention to yourself! Then it is "parading" and incompatible with brotherly love.
Is parading yourself really that bad? I think two men can answer that pretty well. One is John the Baptist. He was a very great man, but when asked to compete with the Lord, he replied, "He must increase, but I must decrease". And he said that sincerely and without regret. But John is not the best example, is he? There is a better one. This man was "in the form of God", but "made Himself of no reputation". Who is He? Our Lord Jesus, the Man who had every right to parade Himself--to come in great glory--but chose to be born into a poor family living in a hick town. That was His choice. It ought to be ours.
"Love...is not puffed up..."
The reason one parades himself is because he's puffed up. This means proud or "full of yourself". It's the attitude which makes people show off.
Why do we crave attention? Psychologists know: It's because of our bad self-image. Some people feel inadequate and so need attention, compliments, affirmations, and so on. This is the teaching of Abraham Maslow, of Oprah Winfrey, and of Minirith and Meier, of James Dobson, M.D., and of many others.
It is not, however, the teaching of the Bible. Why did the Corinthians show off so badly? It's because they were "puffed up" (cf. 4:6,18-19 and 5:3). Nowhere does Paul seek to affirm them or to boost their self-esteem; no, he rebukes them for their wicked pride.
About what can we be puffed up? Anything, of course. Some men even "glory in their shame"--feel proud of their sin! The Corinthians, though, were puffed up about their knowledge, their gifts, and their "love".
5:1-2 provide an interesting case study. The problem was a man living in incest. The church was not "mourning" it, but "puffed up" about it. Were they proud of the sinning brother? I don't think so. They were proud of themselves! Why? Because they were so "loving"--nonjudgmental we might say.
11:16 is another passage worth thinking about. It concerns women "praying and prophesying with their heads uncovered". I can't get into the details now, but I can say this much: The women were so proud of their "spiritual gifts" that they began to despise their husbands' authority. As though knowing more than he or being better than he exempts them from the duty of submission with respect.
Can we be puffed up too? Of course we can. All pride is wrong, of course, but one kind in particular is odious: religious pride. Being puffed up about what we know about God, of what we do for God, or what we don't do against God. "What do you have that you did not receive?"
How bad is pride? At the least, it is proof of your immaturity, see 3:1-4. And it may be worse than that, for pride is of "the devil", and in not repented of, must lead to "condemnation", see I Timothy 3:6.
How do we mortify our pride?
External things won't do. Fasting, sitting is sackcloth and ashes, living in poverty, and such things, "have a show of wisdom and false humility" Paul says, but does no real good.
An internal change is necessary. And not just once, but daily. How is this achieved? By meditating long and hard on the Lord Jesus, who "emptied Himself" for us and now commands us to empty ourselves for Him.
Will we end up the losers for it? No. For "He who loses his life for [Christ's] sake, will find it". God give us back the lives we have lost through our pride. And do it for Christ's sake. Amen.
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